How Are We Handling Toddler Tantrums?
Your toddler is screaming in the grocery store aisle, throwing themselves on the floor because you gave them the wrongcolor cup, and you're wondering:
“Is this normal?”
“What do I do?”
“Am I handling this the right way?”
If that sounds familiar, you're in the right place. Toddler tantrums are a universal part of parenting—and while they’re often loud, frustrating, and dramatic, they’re also developmentally appropriate and (believe it or not) a sign of growth.
This guide is for families in Cincinnati and Cleveland who are navigating tantrums with the support of nannies, grandparents, teachers—or just doing their best solo. Let’s talk about why tantrums happen, how to respond, and how your nanny can help.
What Is a Tantrum?
A tantrum is an emotional outburst that happens when a toddler becomes overwhelmed by feelings they can’t yet express or regulate. Think of tantrums as stress relief in action—a flood of emotion (anger, fear, sadness, or frustration) without the tools to process it calmly.
Most tantrums involve:
Crying, screaming, stomping
Throwing items or hitting
Refusal to comply or communicate
Clinginess followed by pushing away
They’re most common between ages 18 months and 4 years, when children are still learning self-regulation and communication.
Why Toddlers Have Tantrums
Toddlers are still developing:
Language to express themselves
Self-control to pause and think
Perspective to understand others
Patience and emotional regulation
Common triggers include:
Hunger or tiredness
Transitions (leaving the park, getting dressed)
Frustration with limits (“No more screen time”)
Sensory overload
Wanting independence (“I do it!”)
Changes in routine
💡 In our work at Hunny Nanny Agency, we’ve seen tantrums decrease significantly when families and nannies provide clear routines, consistent boundaries, and lots of empathy.
What NOT to Do During a Tantrum
Let’s start with what doesn’t work:
Yelling or threatening
Bribing (“If you stop, I’ll give you candy”)
Shaming (“Big kids don’t act like this”)
Giving in to stop the meltdown
These responses may stop the tantrum in the short term, but they undermine emotional regulation in the long run.
How to Respond to Toddler Tantrums
1. Stay Calm
This is the hardest—and most important—step. Your child is looking to you for regulation. If you escalate, they escalate.
2. Validate Their Feelings
Let your child know they’ve been heard:
“You’re really mad about leaving the park.”
“It’s okay to be upset that the blue cup is dirty.”
3. Offer Safe Choices
When possible, give toddlers a sense of control:
“Do you want to walk or have me carry you to the car?”
“You can pick the green cup or the red one.”
4. Use Simple, Calm Language
Keep your words short and consistent. Repeat calmly.
“I hear you. It’s time to go.”
“We can try again after lunch.”
5. Don’t Lecture During a Tantrum
Save explanations for after the storm has passed. During the tantrum, your child’s brain is in survival mode—not learning mode.
6. Stay Nearby, But Don’t Overtalk
Sometimes toddlers need space but still want to know you’re close.
“I’m here when you’re ready for a hug.”
After the Tantrum
Once your child is calm:
Reconnect: Offer hugs, affection, or quiet play.
Reflect (briefly): “You were really upset. Next time we’ll use our words.”
Reset: Let it go and move on with your day.
Avoid bringing it up repeatedly or punishing them afterward—it’s about learning, not shame.
How Your Nanny Can Help Manage Tantrums
Consistency between caregivers is key. At Hunny Nanny Agency, we match families in Cincinnati and Cleveland with nannies who understand emotional regulation, toddler behavior, and gentle discipline techniques.
Our nannies help with:
Creating calming transitions (e.g., songs before cleanup)
Using clear, predictable routines
Naming emotions out loud: “That made you feel mad.”
Modeling deep breathing, counting, or using visuals
Journaling patterns in tantrums to identify triggers
We also provide onboarding tools so your nanny and family can align on boundaries and response strategies.
Creating a Toddler-Friendly Routine
Many tantrums stem from unmet needs or transitions. Prevent them with:
📅 Predictable Structure
Use daily visual schedules (even with pictures!) to show what’s coming next.
🥪 Regular Meals & Snacks
Keep hunger-induced meltdowns at bay with a consistent food routine.
🛏️ Restorative Sleep
Overtired toddlers are walking tantrum bombs. Prioritize naps and early bedtimes.
🌳 Outdoor Time
Fresh air and movement reduce stress and regulate energy levels.
🧸 Play-Based Expression
Let toddlers work through emotions using dolls, stuffed animals, or pretend play.
Tools & Resources for Tantrum Support
Books for Toddlers:
The Color Monster by Anna Llenas
Calm-Down Time by Elizabeth Verdick
Grumpy Monkey by Suzanne Lang
Books for Parents:
The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel Siegel
No-Drama Discipline by Siegel & Bryson
Raising Good Humans by Hunter Clarke-Fields
Local Classes & Programs:
In Cincinnati:
Blue Manatee Literacy Project: Storytimes about emotions
Beech Acres Parenting Center: Parent coaching and workshops
In Cleveland:
Family Connections: Parent-toddler support programs
Achievement Centers for Children: Early childhood development programs
When to Seek Help
Occasional tantrums are expected. But it’s time to talk to a pediatrician or child therapist if your child:
Has tantrums that last longer than 15–20 minutes regularly
Is aggressive toward others or self
Has trouble calming down even with help
Shows extreme reactions to minor events
Doesn’t respond to consistent routines or discipline
Tantrums Are Not a Parenting Failure
They’re a sign that your child is learning something hard: how to feel big feelings without falling apart.
Your job isn’t to stop every tantrum. It’s to walk alongside your child while they develop self-regulation—and to create a consistent, safe space for them to fall apart when they need to.
And remember: if you’re doing this while also working, parenting other kids, or managing a household—you’re doing a great job. Tantrums are hard. You’re not alone.
Let Hunny Nanny Agency Support You Through the Tantrum Years
Need a caregiver who understands child development, gentle discipline, and toddler communication?
We’ve placed dozens of experienced, emotionally intelligent nannies across Cincinnati and Cleveland who bring calm, clarity, and consistency to even the most tantrum-prone toddlers.
📍 Serving Families in Cincinnati & Cleveland
🌐 www.hunnynannyagency.com
📧 katherine@hunnynannyagency.com
Together, we can make toddlerhood a little smoother—and a lot more supported.
