How to Talk to Your Nanny About Unpredictable Schedules

A guide for physician parents who are juggling overnight shifts, OR days, and call weekends—without losing their minds (or their caregiver).

You’ve Scheduled, Rescheduled, and Rescheduled Again

If you’ve ever stared at your schedule and thought, There’s no way any human is going to be okay with this, I see you.

Maybe you're a surgeon heading into a week of 5 a.m. cases. Maybe you’re on night float, and your partner’s covering weekends. Maybe you're both in medicine and your toddler is teething through it all.

And then there’s your nanny — this incredibly kind, helpful, human being — whose actual job depends on you giving them a schedule they can work with.

So, how do you make this all work? How do you talk to your nanny about the fact that your schedule is unpredictable, will change last-minute, and isn’t getting any easier?

That’s what we’re unpacking in this post. Real stories. Honest advice. No perfection. Just support.

Let's Be Honest: Your Schedule Is Not "Normal" — And That’s Okay

Here’s the thing I hear all the time from physician moms and dads:
"I feel guilty asking for flexibility."
"I feel like I’m not being a ‘good employer’ because I keep changing things."

But here's the truth: Your job is different. Your nanny’s job will be too.
And that’s not bad. It’s just reality — and it can work beautifully with the right approach and communication.

Start With Honesty. But Don’t Over-Explain.

When hiring or updating your nanny, don’t sugarcoat your schedule. At Hunny Nanny, one of the first things we ask families is:
“What does a normal week look like… and what does a ‘bad’ week look like?”

That’s what your nanny needs to know, too.

What to Say:

“We’re both in medicine, and our schedules can change last-minute. We do our best to give advance notice, but we need someone who’s okay with some unpredictability.”

That’s enough. You don’t need to apologize or explain the history of the American healthcare system.

Just be clear about the kind of flexibility you need.

Define What “Unpredictable” Really Means

Unpredictable can mean different things to different people. To your nanny, it might sound like:

• Surprise 12-hour days

• Being called in on a weekend

• Not knowing next week’s schedule until Sunday night

Be as specific as you can:

“We’ll always give you at least 24 hours’ notice when possible.”
“We need someone who’s open to 7 a.m. starts a few times a month.”
“If either of us is on call, we’ll let you know which day we’re likely to need backup.”

This builds trust. Even if your schedule is wild, your nanny will appreciate knowing the rules of engagement.

Real Talk From Real Parents

Here are a few stories from physician families we've supported at Hunny Nanny — and what they've learned:

🗣 “We started by being super apologetic and vague. It just made our nanny anxious. Once we laid it out clearly and said, ‘We need Monday–Wednesday locked in and Thursday/Friday flexible,’ she was like, ‘Great. I can work with that.’”

🗣 “We built in guaranteed hours, so even if we didn’t use them every week, our nanny had consistency. It took the pressure off everyone.”

🗣 “We do a monthly sit-down with our nanny. 20 minutes, calendar out, we talk about what's coming up. It’s saved us.”

Create Anchors in the Chaos

If your schedule is always shifting, find the things that don’t shift — and build around them.

Examples of anchors:

• Your partner is always home on Fridays? Great — your nanny doesn’t work then.

• Clinic always starts at 8 a.m.? Nanny starts at 7:30 no matter what.

• You have OR every Monday and Wednesday? Those are always full days.

These constants help stabilize the relationship and give your nanny something to plan around — even if everything else is up in the air.

Build in Buffer: Guaranteed Hours & Flex Pay

One of the most loving, respectful things you can do as a parent and employer is give your nanny stability in the midst of your instability.

How?

1. Guaranteed Weekly Hours

• You pay your nanny a set number of hours each week — even if you don’t use all of them.

• If your schedule is light one week, great. If it's chaotic the next, you’re covered.

2. Flexibility Bonus or Shift Differential

• If you need overnights, early mornings, or weekends, offer a premium rate.

• This shows you respect their time — and incentivizes the hard stuff.

🗣 “We pay our nanny 40 hours/week minimum. Some weeks it’s 37, some it’s 44. But she knows she can count on that paycheck, and that makes her so much more open to schedule changes.”

The Calendar Check-In: A Game-Changer

This is hands-down the most effective communication tool I recommend:

Monthly Calendar Check-In

• Sit down together (or send a shared calendar email)

• Review what’s coming up: call weekends, early starts, clinic shifts

• Ask for their availability for key days

• Reconfirm which days/times are guaranteed vs which are up in the air

You don’t need to have every detail nailed down — but even just saying the unpredictable part out loud gives your nanny confidence and clarity.

Talk About Boundaries (Theirs and Yours)

A relationship with a nanny is close. Sometimes really close. And when things are chaotic, it’s easy to overstep — or get burned out.

Here are some things worth addressing:

• “Are there days/times that don’t work for you, no matter what?”

• “Are you okay with occasional early mornings or late evenings, if we plan ahead?”

• “Is there anything that would make your life easier when things shift?”

Make it mutual. Your nanny is not just a support system — they’re a person with a life, too. And when they feel seen? They’ll show up with 10x more joy and flexibility.

When Things Go Wrong (Because They Will)

Even with all the planning, you’re going to mess up. You’ll forget to update the calendar. You’ll get called into a surgery at 3 a.m. You’ll double book. It’s okay.

The key is how you repair:

“I know today was a scramble. I really appreciate how flexible you were. Let me know if there’s anything we can adjust for next time.”

That sentence can save your relationship. Caregivers don’t need you to be perfect — they need to know they’re respected.

What Nannies Actually Want (Spoiler: It’s Not Perfection)

We’ve interviewed hundreds of nannies through Hunny Nanny. Here’s what they say about working with physician families:

They Want:

• Clear expectations, even if the schedule isn’t clear

• Consistent pay, so they can budget

• Kindness when things shift

• Advance notice, whenever possible

• Recognition that they’re helping keep a whole family running

They don’t need you to have it all together. They need you to be honest, communicative, and grateful.

Tips If You’re Hiring a New Nanny (Start Here)

If you're just starting your nanny search and already panicking about how to explain your schedule, take a breath. Here’s what works:

What to Include in Your Job Description:

• “Schedule varies week to week, but guaranteed 35 hours”

• “We’ll provide a schedule by the 25th of each month for the following month”

• “Flexibility needed for early starts and occasional late days (advance notice provided)”

• “Experience with medical families or variable schedules is a plus!”

During the Interview:

Ask:

• “Have you worked with families with unpredictable schedules?”

• “What’s your comfort level with last-minute changes or call shifts?”

• “What’s your ideal level of communication? Weekly check-ins? Text updates?”

You’re not just looking for a warm body. You’re looking for a caregiver who thrives in organized chaos — and they’re out there.

The Emotional Side: Let Go of the Guilt

Here’s the part I wish more physicians said out loud:

“I love my job. I love my kids. But I don’t love the part where I feel like I’m failing everyone because I can't predict my schedule.”

Friend — you’re not failing anyone. You’re doing something incredibly hard, and you’re doing it with heart.

The very fact that you’re reading this blog, trying to communicate better with your nanny, trying to make it work — thatmatters. That means you’re showing up. That means you’re a good parent and a good employer.

Let go of the guilt. Keep doing the best you can. And keep leaning on the people who help you do it.

Final Words: You’re Not Alone (And You’re Not the Only One)

If you’re in a fellowship, rotating every 6 weeks, or both you and your partner are attending physicians — you’re not an outlier. You’re part of a whole group of families navigating the same messy schedules.

And with the right support — the right nanny, the right communication, the right systems — you can thrive.

You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be honest, intentional, and kind. Your nanny will meet you there.

Looking for a Nanny Who Gets It?

At Hunny Nanny Agency, we specialize in placing caregivers who understand what it means to work with physician families. From wild shifts to on-call weeks, we match you with nannies who bring calm, joy, and flexibility into your home — so you can keep doing what you do best.

👉 Start Here – Let’s find your person.