How to Transition a Nanny When You Move for Fellowship
Let’s talk logistics, emotions, and how to keep your childcare life intact while everything else changes.
So you matched. Or maybe your attending job offer just came through. Or your partner’s fellowship is pulling you three states away. Whatever the reason, you’re packing up your life again, and this time, the stakes are higher—because now you’ve got kids.
And if you’re reading this, you probably also have a nanny. Maybe she’s been with you since maternity leave. Maybe she knows exactly how your toddler likes his toast cut (the triangle way, obviously). Maybe she’s been the only constant through night float, call weekends, and “just one more month” of fellowship interviews.
So… what now?
How do you handle a nanny transition when your entire life is already in flux?
Welcome. Let’s walk through it—real talk, physician-style.
🚨 First: Take a Deep Breath. This is a Thing for All of Us.
Before we dive into logistics, let’s acknowledge the emotional part.
Losing a nanny—especially a good one—is no small deal. She’s not just someone who watches your kids. She’s been there for bath time meltdowns and 3 a.m. text updates when your shift ran long. She’s family.
Reddit threads and PMG posts are filled with parents asking:
“How do I tell our nanny we’re moving?”
“Can I help her find another job?”
“Do I bring her with us?”
“Is it normal to cry more about leaving our nanny than leaving our apartment?”
Yes. It’s normal. You’re not being dramatic. You’re a parent in medicine and your support systems are sacred.
So before you start coordinating moving trucks or spreadsheets, take a second to name what you’re feeling: gratitude, guilt, grief, relief. All of it.
🧭 Step 1: Decide—Are You Bringing Her With You?
This is the first (and biggest) fork in the road. And there’s no one-size-fits-all answer.
✔️ You Can Relocate a Nanny.
Yep. It’s a thing. Families do it all the time.
A few things to consider if you're thinking about it:
Does she want to move? This is key. Don’t assume. Ask her outright.
Can you cover relocation costs? That might include travel, first month’s rent, a deposit, or even temporary housing.
Will she have social support in the new city? If she’s leaving her family or network behind, this matters.
Are you offering a live-in role or increased pay? A cross-state move often requires sweetening the deal.
Physician parents in forums often say bringing a nanny with them is invaluable, especially with babies or multiple kids. One mom in a two-resident household said:
“We couldn’t afford the logistics without her. I’d rather figure out moving costs than train someone new while on night float.”
💡 Pro Tip: If you do bring her, write up a formal relocation agreement. Spell out housing arrangements, salary changes, and how long you both are committing to the move. It's not just about logistics—it's about trust.
✋ If You’re Not Bringing Her, That’s Okay Too.
There are tons of reasons not to:
She has her own family or roots where you are
The cost doesn’t make sense
You want a fresh start in your new city
It can be sad. But it’s also an opportunity—to reflect, to be grateful, and to help her transition well (more on that below).
✍️ Step 2: Tell Her—And Do It With Clarity + Care
So many PMG threads say the same thing:
“How do I tell her without falling apart?”
Here’s your script:
“We have some big news, and I wanted to share it with you directly. We’re going to be relocating for [fellowship/attending position] in [month]. You’ve been such a huge part of our lives, and I’m incredibly grateful for everything you’ve done for our family. I want to talk about what this means for you and how I can support you through this transition—whether that means helping you find a new family or talking about the possibility of relocating with us.”
Simple. Human. Honest.
Then: listen. Let her process. Let her ask questions.
Most nannies know this is part of working with physician families. That doesn’t make it easier, but it helps soften the news.
📦 Step 3: Give Her the Longest Lead Time You Can
If you’re not bringing her, do everything you can to help her land well.
Give as much notice as possible (ideally 8–12 weeks). Even if your timeline is messy, transparency goes a long way.
You can also:
Offer to write a glowing reference
Reach out to local agencies on her behalf
Connect her with other physician parents who might be hiring
Pay her a transition or severance bonus if possible (especially if she helped raise your baby)
PMG pro tip:
“I offered my nanny $500 if she found a new family before we moved. It took the pressure off and made it feel like a partnership.”
🧩 Step 4: Start the Search in Your New City (Early)
This is where it gets real.
You’re moving to a new city. You’ve got a start date. You may or may not know anyone there. And you need childcare yesterday.
Let’s talk about the nanny market.
💵 Nanny Costs Vary A Lot by Region
Here’s a very rough estimate (based on agency data + market research):
Add $1–$3/hour for multiple kids or infant care.
You’ll also want to budget for:
PTO & sick time (most offer 2 weeks PTO, 3–5 sick days)
Mileage reimbursement if she drives your kids
Holidays (paid federal holidays are standard)
📅 Timeline to Hire: 3–9 Weeks
Start early. You can start screening or interviewing before you move.
Better yet? Work with an agency (cough) that specializes in physician family placements and can begin the search before you arrive.
We’ve helped families move from Texas to Ohio, Boston to Louisville—you name it. The smoother the childcare plan, the less chaotic your transition feels.
👶 Step 5: Set Expectations Early With Your New Nanny
Every physician parent we’ve worked with has said the same thing:
“I wish I’d communicated more upfront.”
When you find your new nanny, set the tone from the start:
Talk about your schedule and how often it changes
Share what your on-call nights look like
Be honest about your communication style
Outline expectations for flexibility, overnights, sick coverage, etc.
You’ll also want to be clear on:
Who handles nap schedules, meals, and transport
What your backup plan is if she’s sick (and what hers is if your kid is sick)
What “being part of the family” means to you (boundaries are a good thing!)
💬 Step 6: Prep Your Kids Emotionally
Let’s not forget the tiny humans in all this.
Moving is hard for them. And losing a caregiver can be confusing, even painful.
Here’s how to support them:
Use age-appropriate language:
“We’re going to live in a new house soon, and your nanny will be staying here. She loves you so much, and we’ll talk about her all the time.”Make a book with photos of them together
Have a “goodbye day” with special activities
If you can, schedule a FaceTime visit after the move
One PMG mom shared:
“We made a goodbye scrapbook. My 3-year-old still looks at it six months later.”
✨ Bonus: What Families Say Really Helped
After combing through 50+ threads, here are the consistent wins:
✔️ Start early—even just outreach
✔️ Don’t avoid the hard conversation
✔️ Treat your nanny with dignity and care, always
✔️ Work with someone who understands the physician lifestyle
✔️ Have backup childcare lined up in case hiring takes longer than expected
💛 Final Thoughts
Transitions are messy. They’re emotional. They’re expensive and exhausting and sometimes beautiful.
If you’re moving for fellowship or a new job, give yourself grace—and a plan.
Your nanny journey doesn’t end when you relocate. It just evolves.
Whether you’re saying goodbye to a caregiver who’s been your lifeline or welcoming someone new into your child’s world, know this: your kids will be okay. You’ll figure it out. You always do.
And if you need help—we’re here for it.
Need help finding a nanny in your new city?
We specialize in supporting physician families—before, during, and after big moves.
Schedule a consultation and let’s make the next chapter a little easier.
