“Wait, She Let Her Sister Babysit?”
What Families Wish They Knew About Setting Boundaries Around Visitors, Driving, and Other Gray Areas
It always starts with a gut feeling.
You come home from the hospital early—just 30 minutes ahead of schedule—and something feels...off. Your toddler is giggling in the living room, but the voice reading a book isn’t one you recognize. You peek around the corner to find a stranger—well, a teenager—reading Brown Bear.
“Oh!” your nanny chirps from the kitchen. “That’s my little sister. She’s just watching them while I run to the store real quick.”
You freeze.
You hired a nanny because you needed trust. Because your job isn’t just a job—it’s the thing that keeps you gone for 28-hour shifts, overnight calls, and back-to-back consults with barely enough time to sleep, let alone parent.
But no one told you that you’d need a visitor policy—or that you'd be walking into this kind of situation on a random Tuesday afternoon.
The Stuff No One Thinks to Ask
In the rush to secure childcare—especially in medical households across places like Cincinnati, Cleveland, or even cities like Seattle or Charleston—you’re juggling 100 variables.
You’re thinking about qualifications, references, infant CPR, start date, rate.
You’re not usually thinking:
“Will she bring a friend over during naps?”
“Can she take the kids to Target?”
“Is it okay if she FaceTimes her mom while making lunch?”
But in parenting forums and nanny groups, those are the exact things that show up again and again—quietly, and often, with a layer of embarrassment. These aren’t dealbreakers until they are. And by then, it’s awkward at best and trust-damaging at worst.
Common Sense Isn’t So Common
One physician couple in Cleveland shared that their nanny routinely FaceTimed her sister while bottle-feeding their baby—not to complain, but “just to chat.” Another parent in Cincinnati found out their nanny was letting her friend hang out during playtime “because she was really good with kids too.”
These things weren't happening because the nannies were careless. In fact, they were often described as great nannies. Reliable. Loving. Engaged.
But here’s the hard truth: in-home care requires an extra layer of communication—because it takes place in the most intimate space of your life.
The Gray Areas That Need Real Policies
At Hunny Nanny Agency, we’ve helped families across Cincinnati, Cleveland, and nationwide avoid exactly these kinds of surprises—not because we micromanage, but because we believe boundaries build peace of mind.
Here are the five biggest areas where “gray” quickly turns “messy”:
🚫 Visitor Policy
Why it matters:
When a nanny invites someone into your home—even briefly—it can feel invasive. Not just for safety, but for privacy and boundaries.
What to include in your policy:
Are any visitors allowed at all?
Can someone else “cover” for the nanny, even for 10 minutes?
Are FaceTime or phone calls okay during the day?
Do visitors need prior approval?
Real-life example:
A Cincinnati family discovered via their nanny cam that their caregiver’s college-aged sister had been watching the baby for short periods while the nanny “stepped out.” It wasn’t malicious. But it was absolutely not okay.
🚗 Driving Policy
Why it matters:
In cities like Cleveland and suburban neighborhoods like Hyde Park or Mt. Lookout in Cincinnati, driving kids to activities or preschool might be part of the job. But assumptions can be dangerous.
What to clarify:
Will the nanny use her car or yours?
Are car seats installed and checked regularly?
Are certain destinations pre-approved?
Are stops for personal errands allowed with kids in the car?
How will mileage be reimbursed?
Real-life example:
One family in Beachwood realized their nanny had been stopping at the bank, post office, and gas station “on the way” home from school pickups. No harm done—but it wasn’t part of the job description.
📱 Phone & Screen Policy
Why it matters:
You don’t want your nanny distracted—but banning phones entirely isn’t realistic in 2025. Emergencies, GPS, and music apps are often part of the day.
What to outline:
When and how phones can be used
If music/podcasts are okay with headphones
Whether the nanny can take or share photos of your child
Policies around texting, social media, or screen use while working
Real-life example:
A pediatrician mom in downtown Cincinnati caught her nanny on her phone constantly through her in-home cameras—not doing anything wrong, but missing crucial moments with her toddler.
🏡 House Rules
Why it matters:
Your nanny spends a large portion of her week in your home—but that doesn’t make it her home. Unclear expectations can lead to crossed lines.
What to communicate:
Can she eat your food or bring her own?
Are naps or TV breaks allowed during downtime?
What’s the standard for tidying up?
Are certain rooms off-limits?
Real-life example:
One Cleveland Heights family returned from a trip to find their nanny had hosted a “quiet girls’ night” in their finished basement while watching the baby monitor. The sitter assumed it was okay since the kids were asleep and everything was tidy.
⏱ Substitutes & Shift Coverage
Why it matters:
You hired her, not her cousin or sister or college roommate. Even short periods of coverage can feel like a breach of trust when they’re unapproved.
What to outline clearly:
Are subs ever allowed?
What should the nanny do in an emergency (i.e., she’s stuck in traffic or sick)?
Should she call you before making any changes?
Real-life example:
In a Cincinnati suburb, one family’s nanny had her roommate pinch-hit on short notice when she felt sick. The parents only found out after the toddler mentioned “a new friend” helped him go potty.
Physician Families Need Stronger Boundaries—Not Stricter Rules
You’re not home enough to observe everything. You’re in surgeries. On call. Catching a nap between consults.
And because of that, your nanny might have more access to your home and your children than anyone else outside your family.
This isn’t about micromanaging. It’s about creating a professional relationship with personal trust—and that requires clear expectations.
How to Have That Conversation
Whether you’re onboarding a new nanny or reevaluating boundaries with someone you’ve had for years, here’s how to approach it:
Lead with gratitude.
“You’re such an important part of our kids’ lives. We’re so thankful for you.”Make it about consistency.
“With how crazy our schedules get, we realized it helps everyone if we have a shared understanding in writing.”Be specific and kind.
“We ask that there be no visitors, and that the kids only ride in the car for pre-approved activities.”Leave space for input.
“Is there anything that would make your days smoother?”Follow through with documentation.
It doesn’t need to be legalese—but a shared, signed work agreement saves everyone stress.
What to Include in a Nanny Work Agreement
Whether you’re in Hyde Park, Lakewood, Shaker Heights, or anywhere across the U.S., we recommend putting these essentials in writing:
✔️ Hours, pay, and overtime expectations
✔️ Visitor policy
✔️ Driving rules & car seat use
✔️ Phone/screen use
✔️ Approved outings
✔️ Food, nap, and personal time policies
✔️ Sick day and emergency protocols
✔️ Confidentiality agreement
✔️ Termination guidelines
If that sounds overwhelming, don’t worry—our team at Hunny Nanny handles this as part of every placement, ensuring it feels collaborative and empowering for both sides.
When It's Time to Reassess
Even the best caregivers cross lines if boundaries are never discussed. Here's how to know it's time to revisit your policies:
You’re learning new information from your kids, not your nanny
You’re finding things out after the fact (e.g., surprise outings or visitors)
You feel slightly uncomfortable—but can’t put your finger on why
Sometimes a small reset is all it takes. Other times, it's a sign the match isn't sustainable long-term. Either way, trust your gut—you’re probably right.
Final Thoughts: Peace of Mind Starts with Clarity
The best nannies want to do their jobs well. And most of the stories we hear—from physician moms in Cleveland to ER dads in Cincinnati to pediatricians in Boston—aren’t about neglect or laziness. They’re about miscommunication.
If you're investing in help, invest in clarity too. When everyone knows the rules, everyone wins.
Your kids feel secure.
Your nanny feels supported.
And you? You finally walk through the door after a 14-hour shift and know everything is as it should be.
👩⚕️ Need Help Setting Boundaries from the Start?
At Hunny Nanny Agency, we specialize in thoughtful placements and support for physician families in Cincinnati, Cleveland, and across the U.S. Every family gets:
✅ Pre-vetted nannies
✅ A custom work agreement
✅ Ongoing support and communication guidance
Ready to protect your home—and your peace of mind?
👉 Visit Hunny Nanny Agency to get started.
Sources:
Content inspired by family and caregiver experiences shared across Reddit (r/Nanny, r/Residency, r/Parenting), parenting blogs, and internal case reviews. No direct user quotes or identifiable posts were used.
