What Physician Moms Wish They Knew About Childcare Sooner
Real talk from moms in medicine who’ve been there, done that — and would do it differently next time.
If You're Feeling Behind, You're Not Alone
Let’s just take a moment to acknowledge something: if you’re a physician mom trying to figure out childcare — while also keeping small humans alive, showing up for patients, charting until midnight, and maybe remembering to eat lunch — you’re already doing a lot.
And if you’re feeling like you’re just barely holding it together? You’re in good company.
In fact, that’s the number one thing moms in medicine say they wish they knew:
“You are not the only one struggling. It’s this hard for all of us. I just wish someone had told me that sooner.”
But they also wish they’d known some other things too — things that could have saved them from stress, last-minute panics, and burnout.
So we asked the question on Reddit, sifted through PMG posts, reviewed agency consultations, and spoke directly with physician moms from across the country.
Here’s what they wish they had known earlier — so maybe you don’t have to learn the hard way.
1. “Start the childcare search way earlier than you think.”
We cannot overstate this one.
Whether it’s your first baby or your third, childcare takes longer to figure out than anyone prepares you for — especially in medicine.
🗣 “I was six months pregnant and thought I had tons of time to find a nanny. I didn’t realize how long the process was — interviews, references, contracts — and then our top candidate got another offer. I went into panic mode at 38 weeks.” – Anesthesiologist, New York
Most agencies, including ours, recommend starting 3–4 months before you need care. Why?
Families interview 3–5 candidates on average.
Many nannies give 2–4 weeks' notice in their current job.
You’ll want time for trial days, contracts, onboarding, and backup plans.
So if you’re going back to work in July? Start in March.
Seriously. Do it.
2. “Don’t try to make daycare work just because it’s what your friends do.”
Here’s the thing: daycare is not bad. For many families, it’s a great fit.
But for physicians? It’s often a logistical nightmare in disguise.
🗣 “I was dead set on getting our daughter into the same Montessori daycare all my friends loved. But it didn’t open until 7:30 a.m., and I had to be at the hospital by 6:45. We were constantly begging favors, paying backup sitters, and still showing up late.” – OB-GYN, Cincinnati
🗣 “Daycare worked for exactly 3 months before the call-outs started. Every sniffle = three days home. I missed six shifts in two months.” – ER Physician, St. Louis
Here’s what physician moms say they actually needed:
Early morning and evening coverage
Backup care when their child was sick
One person to handle the mental load — snacks, naps, meds, etc.
Flexibility when their call schedule changed
That’s why so many turn to nannies — not for luxury, but for survival.
3. “You need to know what you need — not just what sounds good on paper.”
A lot of moms we talked to shared that they went into hiring thinking they needed someone “fun” or “experienced” or “creative” — which are great! But what they really needed was someone who matched their life rhythm.
🗣 “We hired someone with a ton of daycare experience. She was sweet, but didn’t understand our schedule, and seemed really uncomfortable when we asked her to help with light household tasks. It became a tension point.” – Hospitalist, Chicago
Before you hire anyone, sit down and think about:
What times of day are your biggest stress points?
What kind of help do you need beyond childcare (laundry, errands, etc.)?
Do you want someone who feels like family? Or more of a professional boundary?
How much structure or independence do you want in your nanny?
Knowing this upfront saves you heartache and money.
4. “Paying well isn’t spoiling — it’s stability.”
Let’s be honest. Most physician moms are used to sacrifice. You put yourself last. You make it work. You figure it out.
But that mindset doesn’t work when you’re hiring someone who will be in your home every day, keeping your child safe and your household running.
🗣 “We lowballed our first nanny offer, and she ghosted us before day one. Lesson learned. When we found our second nanny, we paid top range — and five years later, she’s still with us.” – Pediatrician, LA
What physician moms said they wish they knew:
Paying above market = less turnover
Guaranteed hours matter — even if you leave early some days
A happy nanny = a stable home environment
Think about it this way: if you lost your nanny today, what would it cost to replace her? Probably more than a couple extra bucks an hour.
5. “Your nanny is part of your care team — treat her like one.”
This one hits deep.
Physician moms are often stretched so thin, they forget that their nanny is the only reason they’re functioning most days. But when that’s acknowledged, nurtured, and supported — the whole dynamic shifts.
🗣 “Once I started seeing our nanny as part of our team — not just hired help — everything changed. We do check-ins, thank-you notes, little bonuses. She gives us her all because she knows we value her.” – PMG member
Small things physician moms do that go a long way:
Weekly check-ins (text or quick convo)
End-of-year bonuses or birthday gifts
Asking for input on the kids’ routines or development
Saying thank you often (seriously)
This is someone helping raise your child. When they feel appreciated, everyone wins.
6. “Backup plans aren’t optional.”
It sounds like overkill — until your nanny gets COVID and you’re supposed to scrub in at 7 a.m.
🗣 “We didn’t think we’d need backup care. Then flu season hit and we missed work two weeks in a row. I was this close to quitting.” – Radiologist, Phoenix
Physician moms recommend:
A vetted backup nanny list through your agency
Asking grandparents or neighbors before you’re desperate
Having a "sick day kit" ready if a backup sitter has to jump in
Even if you only need it once or twice a year, having a plan = instant anxiety relief.
7. “Don’t ignore your gut — even in interviews.”
A lot of physician moms shared that they knew something felt off during the interview process — but pushed through because they felt rushed, desperate, or just unsure.
🗣 “She had amazing references, but my toddler clung to me during the trial like never before. I told myself he was just tired. Two weeks in, we had to let her go.”
Your gut matters. Even in data-driven lives.
Look for:
Emotional maturity
Calm energy
Warmth with your kids
Alignment with your parenting values
And don’t ignore your partner’s gut, either. Two sets of instincts are better than one.
8. “You will cry the first day you leave your baby. It doesn’t mean you made the wrong choice.”
Just because you’ve charted complex cases or intubated patients doesn’t mean it won’t completely wreck you to leave your baby for the first time.
That moment is big.
🗣 “I cried all the way to work and all the way home. Our nanny was amazing. But I still felt like I was leaving part of my heart behind.” – PMG
It doesn’t mean you picked the wrong person. It means you’re a mom.
You can be confident in your nanny and still grieve not being there.
You can be proud of your work and feel pulled home.
It’s both. Always both.
9. “Childcare isn’t just about the kids — it’s about your mental health too.”
Over and over, physician moms shared this truth: having the right support doesn’t just help your kids — it helps you.
🗣 “When we finally had consistent, loving childcare, I stopped waking up in panic. I could breathe again.”
When childcare works:
You get to show up at work present and not scattered
You can actually focus at home instead of dreading Monday
You might even find time for a walk, a nap, or therapy
This is your permission to get the support you need not because you can’t handle it — but because you deserve to be okay, too.
10. “The best time to figure this out was yesterday. The second-best time is now.”
You might be reading this while pregnant, on your fourth day of night float, or rocking a baby at 3 a.m. wondering how you’ll ever go back to work.
Let this be your sign: it’s not too late.
Start the search. Ask for help. Look into backup care. Have that tough convo with your partner about what you both really need.
Your family is worth it. You are worth it.
And if you’re overwhelmed? We’ve got you.
Final Thoughts: You Deserve More Than “Making It Work”
Being a physician mom is a beautiful, messy, sacred thing.
It’s also exhausting, and complicated, and often unsupported.
But when you have the right childcare?
Everything changes.
You get to breathe. Your kids get stability. Your career gets a foundation.
Your family gets to thrive, not just survive.
So listen to the moms who’ve been there. Learn from their stories.
And don’t be afraid to ask for what you need — even if you didn’t know you needed it until now.
Looking for a Nanny Who Gets It?
At Hunny Nanny Agency, we specialize in helping physician moms find vetted, flexible, reliable childcare that fits your unique rhythm. We know the 5 a.m. OR starts, the 28-hour shifts, the emotional weight of doing it all.
Let us help carry some of that with you.
Because you don’t just need childcare. You need a village that gets it.
