10 Red Flags to Watch for When Interviewing a Nanny

(Especially for Dual-Physician Families)

When you're both a parent and a physician, you're already working with limited time, high stakes, and zero margin for chaos. Add the stress of vetting a caregiver into that equation, and the stakes only rise.

For dual-physician households, a nanny isn’t a luxury — it’s the anchor. Your nanny becomes part of the rhythm that keeps everything else functioning: from early shifts and on-call coverage to daycare closures, snow days, and sick kid surprises.

So when you’re interviewing for this pivotal role, how do you know when something’s off?

After working with dozens of physician families, reading countless Reddit and Facebook group threads, and reviewing post-interview feedback across the country — here are the 10 red flags you should never ignore when hiring a nanny.

🚩 1. Vague or Evasive Answers

When you ask, “Why did you leave your last job?” or “How would you handle a toddler’s tantrum?” — a solid candidate will give a clear, thoughtful response.

But when the answers are fuzzy, overgeneralized, or avoidant? Pay attention.

One pediatrician mom told us:

“She said she left because the family was 'weird' and couldn’t really explain why. No dates. No context. Just kind of shrugged.”

Ask specific follow-ups. If the story gets shakier, it’s probably a no.

🚩 2. Multiple Short-Term Jobs Without Good Reason

A short stint here or there isn’t a dealbreaker — life happens. But if every job lasted just a few months, and there’s a pattern of “they weren’t a fit” or “I got bored,” it raises questions about commitment and staying power.

A Reddit thread from r/Parenting described this perfectly:

“Our nanny had four jobs in a year. We thought we’d be different. She lasted 6 weeks.”

When in doubt, ask for references — and call them.

🚩 3. Overuse of “The Family Was the Problem”

If a nanny can’t describe a single past job without blaming the family, pause.

It’s one thing to say, “It wasn’t a great fit” or “We had different parenting styles.”
It’s another to hear, “They were super controlling and toxic” for every single role.

One physician dad said:

“She spent ten minutes talking about how ‘crazy’ her last employer was. I just imagined her saying the same thing about us someday.”

You’re not just hiring a caregiver — you’re inviting someone into your home. Emotional intelligence matters.

🚩 4. Poor Communication (Even Before the Interview)

This is a big one.

Late replies. Confusing texts. Missed interview times. If a candidate fumbles communication during the hiring process, it won’t get better once they're on the job.

A cardiologist in Cleveland told us:

“She forgot the interview time twice. We were already imagining her forgetting preschool pickup.”

Look for candidates who confirm times, follow up, and respond professionally. You’re a physician — your time is valuable. They should respect that.

🚩 5. No Questions for You

This might sound small, but it’s huge.

If a candidate has zero questions for you — about your child, your routines, parenting philosophy, or the daily schedule — that’s a red flag.

A strong nanny asks:

• “What’s your child’s temperament like?”

• “What are your discipline preferences?”

• “Are there any safety or health considerations?”

If they’re just nodding along without curiosity, they’re likely treating this like any other job — not one where they’re nurturing your child.

🚩 6. Rigid or Inflexible Scheduling

Physician families need flexibility. You’re not clocking in at 9 and out at 5.

When a nanny immediately sets hard limits (e.g. “I won’t work past 5:30 under any circumstance”), that’s worth noting — especially if your specialty includes call shifts, late discharges, or unpredictable OR times.

One OB/GYN couple shared:

“We had a nanny who was great… until we had a delivery run long. She left before we got home, and our newborn was with a neighbor.”

Not all nannies will be open to 12-hour shifts — and that’s okay. But be honest about what your life really looks like, and see if they lean in or back away.

🚩 7. Gossiping or Oversharing About Previous Families

This one’s tricky. You want honesty. But if a candidate is giving names, venting about personal details, or bad-mouthing parents — that’s unprofessional.

You deserve someone who respects boundaries and shows discretion.

A good litmus test: Would you be comfortable if they shared that story about you in their next interview?

🚩 8. Lacks Basic Child Development Knowledge

Experience doesn’t equal education — and vice versa. But if a nanny can’t describe how they support your child’s growth, they might not be ready for the role you need.

Ask open-ended questions:

• “How do you encourage speech in toddlers?”

• “What do you do if a child refuses to nap?”

• “How do you transition kids through developmental changes?”

If their answers feel canned, off-base, or unclear, you may want to keep looking.

You’re trusting this person with early childhood development. It’s okay to expect depth.

🚩 9. Immediate Focus on Pay or Perks — Before the Basics

Talking about compensation is healthy. You want a professional who knows their worth.

But when the first few minutes of an interview revolve solely around:

• Vacation days

• Time off

• Lunch breaks

• Pay negotiation

…before they even ask about your child?

It can signal misaligned priorities.

One emergency medicine physician wrote:

“Before she asked about our twins, she asked if she’d get paid holidays and birthday off. Felt off.”

Again — benefits matter. But they shouldn’t eclipse the core role.

🚩 10. Your Gut Says “No”

This is the one you can’t always explain.

Maybe their tone was off. Maybe their answers felt rehearsed. Maybe your kid hid behind your leg the whole time and refused eye contact.

Your instinct is your most underrated hiring tool.

Time and again, families who ignored their gut tell us, “I just knew something wasn’t quite right.”

On the flip side, when you meet the right nanny? It clicks. You feel calm. Your kid warms up. You’re not imagining it — trust that knowing.

Physician Households Are Different — Your Standards Should Be Too

Your nanny isn’t just a babysitter. They’re a co-pilot in your family's rhythm — showing up during your 4 a.m. OR preps, snow days, backup call shifts, and holidays when everyone else is closed.

Red flags in the interview matter because once you’re in the trenches of residency, fellowship, or 80-hour weeks — there’s no time to backtrack. The right hire brings stability, warmth, and sanity.

So don’t second-guess high standards.
Don’t apologize for needing dependability.
And definitely don’t ignore red flags because someone looks great on paper.

Bonus: Questions to Ask That Reveal Red Flags

Use these to dig deeper:

• “What’s the longest you’ve stayed with a family? Why did you leave?”

• “How do you handle communication if you’re running late or need to call off?”

• “What’s something past employers have appreciated about you?”

• “Tell me about a time a day didn’t go as planned — how did you handle it?”

• “What are your expectations around time off, overtime, and flexibility?”

Watch not just the answer, but how they respond — tone, body language, and transparency.

Final Thoughts: You Deserve a Caregiver Who Gets It

At Hunny Nanny Agency, we’ve helped dozens of dual-physician families find not just a nanny — but a childcare partner.

We know how hectic the schedule is.
We understand how protective you are of your kids and your time.
And we know what it means when someone really fits.

If you’re ready to meet candidates who’ve already been through the first few filters (and have physician family experience), we’re here to help.

👉 Explore our physician-specific support here

Or reach out directly and we’ll talk through what you’re looking for — and what red flags you definitely want to avoid.